Awake again

Sigh. The cute butch is seeing someone else she's more into. Which is fine, but the brief moment of possiblity woke me once again, and now all I want is to dive into more dating. For the most part, I hate dating and I'm lousy at it. I am not at all good with people I don't already know. But, especially as the weather gets colder, which always makes me more cuddly, I want to be out among queer people more. I want to flirt. I want to go on dates and be out and visible and femme. I'm tired of staying home and doing schoolwork and never meeting new people. I'm tired of not being visibly queer and not being in queer spaces. I want to do wild and naughty things on occasion.